Discovering You

When asked what makes ‘you’ you – what would you say?
What areas of your identity do you love and feel proud of?

One of my favourite verses in the bible is John 10:7:
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy, I came that you may have life and have it to the full”.

Just let that sink in for a minute.

Jesus didn’t come so that we can live a half mediocre life, that life would be boring, but that we can live life to the absolute fullest.

I believe that when we discover who we have been made to be, why God put us on this earth, why we look the way we do, why we have certain gifts and talents.  then we can really live our lives to the fullness that Jesus was talking about.

I spent most of my teenage years trying to change everything that made me, ‘me’.

This was for different reasons. I had got to a point where I hated my body, my personality, and I was desperate to be someone else.

Have you ever been in that position; where you admire the people around you, your family and friends, you idolise them and try to change to be like them?

When I think back, it was all so consuming and it makes me sad to think that I was so unhappy with myself.

The thief that Jesus talks about in the verse John 10:7 is very real, and for so many years I believed all of the lies that he would feed me on a daily basis.
My head became so full of horrible and hateful words against myself, his one goal was to destroy me and I let him do it.

I was raised in a very loving and Christian family. I had strong relationships with my parents and sister and a group of amazing friends.
And in all this I felt lost. I felt alone.

I used to tell people that God loved them and that He made them unique, that He knew everything about them and cared so much for them.
However, I never really believed it for myself. I don’t think I could let myself believe it.

It takes time to discover your identity, sometimes it takes years and even when you think you have it cracked, you’re still discovering new things.
I think it is a daily journey.

So now, at the age of 33, how am I doing at discovering my identity and living it out to the fullest that I can?

I want to share with you some things I have learned along the way:

One: Speak scripture over yourself.
I used to have a number of verses that I would speak over myself when looking in the mirror.
I often would do this through tears of shame and hatred, but there is so much power in scripture and I honestly believe that is one of the fundamentals that transformed my way of thinking and living.

Two: Begin to thank God for the way he has made you.
I used to get so angry at God for making me the way he had. I had to change my perspective for a spirit of disappointment to a spirit of thankfulness.

Three: Talk to someone.
I am a big believer in this, so much so, I prioritise spending money on therapy every few months for myself as I love it and it is good for my soul, head and heart!
As well as talking to someone, talk to your Father God, be totally honest with him, cry out to him. He is a good God and wants a relationship with you.

So, please, go discover who you have been made to be, discover your gifts, your talents, your beauty, your soul.
Learn to love it and be the best version of yourself that you can be. No one else can do this but you.

I believe in you.




  • Rachael Birch

    I like that you advocate therapy. I think a lot of Christians would be afraid to admit it thinking they are suggesting Jesus is not enough. I agree that self-love is vital and sometimes that involves talking to someone on a regular basis who can reflect back to us (from an outsiders perspective) what they see and what we are truly saying. Thanks xx

  • Pam King

    Why thank you.
    I get inspiration from Psalm 139.
    I have to admit I often wish my personality other than it is…..
    I believe Christians trying to grow into the people Jesus intends us to be, are aliens in a foreign land.
    The world strives to make us selfish.
    The world endeavours to seduce us with money and all it can buy us….
    When yes indeed Jesus came so that we can have life. Life in all its fullness. No matter what is happening to us.

  • Lynda

    Abi, so chuffed to read your honest and open account, which will help so many young people. I shall certainly be recommending some people I know who still struggle with identity, after so many years. You have done a really good job on your first blog – keep it up! XX (proud Aunty Lynda)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.