If I auditioned for this part,
I wouldn’t get it.
I’d be trying too hard for another role.
I’d want to play someone taller and thinner,
with a face more beautiful than mine.
I’d want to be more talented;
able to light up a room with a smile.
But, each time I try to fill this other place
you, gently, bring me back to the space
that was made for me.
You crafted this player for this role.
You had a precise design in mind.
You assigned my height:
this tall, exactly, no less.
My face was not a guess;
you crafted each feature into its perfect place.
When you thought about my smile
you made it to speak uniquely of your grace.
The perimeter of my mind is exact.
Creativity to this point,
logic to here,
intelligence to here,
no more and no less.
This was best.
You planned it all and said it was good
and, yet, I feel I should change myself;
try to fit someone else’s mould.
Or, one I am told I must fit.
Until I am reminded of the place you have in mind for me,
the one you have designed,
and the freedom I can find
when I start seeking you;
becoming more and more the ‘me’
that you made me to be.