Testimony

Bent but not broken

My experience is that life is often bent out of shape.
It’s very rarely linear, following a seamless path that makes complete sense.
Things have a tendency to come out of the blue. Sometimes they are totally unexpected; shocking and confusing. 

At times like that I often react instead of responding, especially if the situation involves someone I love deeply.
I often try to fix the situation, wanting to make the person feel better.
Sometimes I try to help by issuing commands (however lovingly they are said or wrapped up in advice) rather than asking questions to ascertain what they want to do.

But life’s circumstances have a way of teaching us things even when it doesn’t go according to plan.
They will teach my loved ones what they need to learn but I must also allow them to teach me what I need to learn. 

I don’t have to race to fix people or situations (my own included).

I need to learn to hold the (sometimes painful) space, no matter how uncomfortable, in order to allow learning to come.
By asking myself, “What can I learn from this situation?” I will prevent myself from rushing in to change it before I have learnt anything.

I have recognised that I don’t like feeling bent out of shape.
I don’t like what I deem to be negative emotions but, in learning to hold them and allow them to teach me, I can hopefully stop repeating the same behaviour.
It’s not easy and I often don’t like it but I am really trying to apply this in my life. 

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